Fabric Store Adventures: Encounter of the n00b

Ok, so I needed to pick up a zipper for a skirt I am working on (well, ok, and some lining because I just really didn’t like the color combo of fashion fabric/lining I had going on), so I went to local (non-Joann) fabric shop to get some stuff.  Of course, as we all know, going to a fabric shop to “pick up a zipper” actually entails thirty minutes minimum to walk around the store and see what is new.  This store is a bit out of the way, but I hadn’t been in a while so I figured it was worth the trip.  And oh man, have they been upping their game.

While I wandered around pondering a linen boucle (Would I look fabulously colorful or would I look as though a bag of skittles had barfed all over me?), some stretch lace (Does the wonderful pattern offset the baby shower blue color?), and some stretch knit (would I look comfy and sophisticated or would I look like my dress was a tragic Burda styling choice from the September issue?), I went over to examine the now expanded wool section.  I noticed a younger (nerdy-ish looking) guy who was looking totally lost.  He looks at me, with a bit of a desperate glint in the eye and we have a conversation that goes something like this:

GUY: So, ummmm, do you come here often?

ME:  Uh, yeah, sometimes.  You know, when I need fabric and stuff.  (Thinking: I would come here more often if time and budget permitted.  Did you see all the new silks?  When did they start carrying so much silk?)

GUY: Oh.  Ummm, what do you use fabric for?

ME:  I mostly sew clothing.  And skating costumes.  Stuff like that.  (Thinking: Uh… what do you use fabric for?  Wait.  Do I even want to know?)

GUY:  Oh, costumes are cool.  I don’t think I could ever make one.  It would be so hard.  So, umm, you go to school for this?

ME: No.  I go to school for chemistry.  (Watching the guy’s eyes get sort of big.  Thinking: Ha!  He is a nerd.  And I totally exploded his brain.)

GUY: Oh, I um, sorta do physics.  And stuff.  Ummmm, can I ask you a question?

ME: Uh, I guess. (Thinking: You already asked me like five, but I am in a good mood today because I am in a fabric store.  And I really want to see where this is going…)

GUY: How do they sell this stuff?

ME: Uhhh, you pick what you like, take it to the counter and tell them how much you want.  By the yard.  They cut it for you.  (Thinking: Don’t laugh.  Don’t laugh.  It is NOT funny.)

GUY: Ooooooooooh.  Ok.  How do you know how much things cost? (At this point he is lovingly stroking some grey wool.)

ME: Oh, it says on the bolt end.

So I go over and touch the wool.  Softest wool I have ever felt in my entire life.  I am thinking, no.  It couldn’t be.  Could it?  Here?  Really?  And I pull back the fabric end to reveal:

Cashmere.  $59.98/yard

OMFG what?!?!?!  When did this place start carrying cashmere?  And when will I be able to afford some, because really, I mean, dang that stuff is nice.  After a pause of stunned silence…

ME: See, this here is cashmere, it is $60/yard.

GUY: Oh.  Well, I am looking for something for my car….

ME: …..(stunned silence)….  Oh.  Ummm, well, they have other things that aren’t as expensive…..  (Thinking:  Your car?!?!?!?!  What, is it like a freaking Rolls Royce or something?  I mean, &@^$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This is ^&**^#@ cashmere!!!!  Get your hand away from the fabric and wander over to the synthetic upholstery section before someone gets hurt…)

GUY: (Probably noticing my slightly crazy eyebrow twitch) Yeah, guess I will look around.  Thanks for the help…

Guy wanders off.  I stand and pet the cashmere.  I want to tell it, “It’s ok, don’t worry, nobody is going to use you in their car.  You will be loved and appreciated as some fabulous coat somewhere as the sewing gods intended…..”  I mean, I didn’t really talk to it, but I did send it telepathic waves of comfort.  And petting it did help me calm down.  A bit.  I mean, his car, honestly now….

Of course, after petting the cashmere, the rest of the fabric just seemed so sad.  I did get some lining for the skirt though, and a zipper, so mission accomplished there.  Except that I will now be hoping and dreaming and thinking about that wonderfully soft cashmere for the rest of eternity.  I really do need some.  I just don’t need it right now.

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